Still Seeking a Chance in 31

foto: Raisan Al Farisi

Kenapa masih suka nulis blog sejak 13 tahun lalu?

Saya bisa melepas media sosial, tapi tidak dengan blog. Blog ibarat safe haven, tempat cerita sepuasnya. I literally have no one I'm comfortable with to talk to. I wish someday my kids will read this and realize the way I captured moment is unique and different (than their Dad).

Masih mau menggapai mimpi?

Lebih ke menggapai keinginan. Doing something I eager to do. Dan udah punya gambaran apa yang mau dilakukan di masa tua (enjoying life instead of earning money).

Kenapa suka menikah?

I have an uncommon reason. Saya benci jadi jomlo karena selalu ada temen cowok yang baper dan suka. Saat saya tolak atau saya jauhi, mostly mereka akan beda dan kami gak bisa temenan normal lagi. Setelah menikah saya terikat, gak ada yang bisa deketin saya dan saya bisa bebas berteman dengan siapa saja tanpa pusing dengan baper-baperan.

Time passes so fast.

Still, I become an ordinary woman with a husband, two daughters, and lack of confidence in selfability.

Still, I can't push myself to the limit. If no one gives me a chance, then why can't I give it to myself?  That's something I totally can't realize. 

Still, being a mother of two is always making me enough, even the hole is getting wider. There's so many things to do, but it always ended up with doing 'nothing'. 

But those are just trouble caused by insecurity. 

Still, I'm proud of being a mother and a wife. Hugged by your loved ones is a highest level of happiness. 

Still, I walk in my own shoes, by my own way, and to my own future. No one interrupted. 

Still, I have biggest support systems who always encourage me to do anything I like. They appreciated and facilitated.  

How grateful. 

Still, I'm seeking a change to find who I am, what I am waiting for. Because life is about seeking and waiting.