New Phase of Life
I ever felt it, afraid of what will happen in present time. Almost eleven years ago, I was standing in front of six grade class. Through the window I could see pictures of math symbols, human's parts of body, and basic English conversation. What will happen in six grade? Can I face it? There will be more difficult subjects in six grade, there will be final examination, my first final examination in life. I was afraid. But I achieved the best score, became the best student, and entered the best high school. I passed it without knowing that scary feeling will frighten me more.
Everything seems difficult, how can I live far from my parents?
It was my decision, continuing study outside my hometown. I always make my own decision, 'cause I know my parents will prefer to keep silent instead of saying no if they didn't agree. I know they will let me free as long as it's good for my future. I know it didn't mean that they didn't care of me. I always think that I can't be far from them, although we're not close. I always want to call them and tell that I no longer can face my life here, alone, I wanna back home. But what exactly happen was, I always cried alone in my room, didn't know what to do, waited for them to call me first day by day. When they said hello, I cried for no reason, I even didn't brave to say I need you.
New phase of my life will come soon. Job training, final paper, final session, and graduation. Looking for job vacancy, working, earning money, getting married. I don't wanna leave you, parents. How could I have to enter new phases and be farther from you, while I need you in every breath I take, in every problem I get, in every tear dropped? The way to the future now even be harder than when I was in six grade.
I'm standing in front of my college, why is everything so difficult to reach?
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